Impossible to Forget
by Dakota Riley
Summary: When Hawkeye finds out she is going to have Mustang's child, her whole world is flipped upsidedown. Four years later, she has done the impossible and tricked the entire military. But how long before everything comes crumbling down?
1. 2 The Road to Discovery

**Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Full Metal Alchemist or it's characters. I claim no right to them. I am merely a fan-fiction-er that is a huge fan of them.**

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**Chapter 2: The Road to Discovery**

"Stupid…. Stupid…" Riza muttered, splashing water on her face. "Since when do you cry?" She sighed and used her foot to push the door closed as she toweled her face dry. "You don't. Never."

After crying herself to sleep with Derrik in her arms, she awoke bright and early the next morning. After years in the military, she had become so accustomed to waking up at the break of dawn that the habit never left her. Now, as she stared at herself in the mirror, grimacing at her disgusting appearance, she sighed again.

She grabbed her brush and began combing out her blond hair, wincing as the occasional knot ripped at her scalp. When she was finished, she pulled it back in her usual lose bun. Satisfied, she opened the door and walked down the stairs.

Knowing Derrik would still be asleep for several hours, made her feel secure that she would be able to completely calm herself down before he son woke up. The thought of Derrik seeing her cry again made her shiver. "You never cry." She sighed. Sitting down at the kitchen table, she stared out the window. The sky outside was still a hazy grey and the sun would be coming up soon. Luckily, it would be coming up on the other side of the house so there wouldn't be another haunting flame illusion.

Rubbing her temples, she closed her eyes. "What do I need to do today…?" She tried to make a mental note of everything. Getting up, she walked over to a small table next to her couch. Picking up a book, she flipped to the back. "Expired today." She sighed. "Guess I'll have to go renew it today." She heard her bed creak as Derrik rolled over in his sleep. "I should take Derrik down to the park again to see… Gage. That was his name."

She sat down on the couch and glanced at the clock. "Only 6:30?" She sighed and lay her head on the back of the couch. She could tell already it was going to be a long day.

About 9 o'clock, Derrik, walked down the stairs rubbing his eyes. "Morning sweetie." Riza smiled, putting the bookmark in where she left off in her book. "Morning…" He mumbled. He walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Are you still sad?" He asked, looking up at her with big eyes. "No." she said, hugging him tightly. "I'm not." She wasn't sure if she really was done being sad, and she was pretty sure she would never be done feeling sad, but she couldn't tell him that. "Good." He said, letting go of her.

"Want some breakfast?" Riza asked, getting to her feet and walking towards the kitchen. "If you get dressed while I'm getting it ready, we can go down to the playground afterwards." Derrik's eyes lit up and he ran up the stairs. Riza grinned as she watched him go. She walked into the kitchen and pulled out some pancake mix. "I guess I need to go grocery shopping too." She added it to her mental list, noting the empty cupboard.

After mixing the batter, she poured it onto the griddle. She frowned, wishing she knew how to make the smiles in the pancakes like her mom did when she was little. Shrugging, she flipped them over. Derrik pounded down the stairs and slip into his chair at the dinner table. "Are they ready yet?" Derrik asked eagerly. Riza shook her head and picked up the newspaper. "Oh look. The old middle school burned down last night." She said, skimming the page. "Really?" Derrik jumped up and grabbed the paper, reading it intently.

Riza sighed. "You are such a pyro." She muttered. He ignored her and continued reading. The fact that he was interested in alchemy was bad enough. But did he really need to inherit his father's obsession with burning things? "They think it was arson." Derrik told her, putting the paper down. "Really? Who would burn down a school on purpose?" She asked rhetorically. Derrik shrugged. "I dunno."

As Riza flipped the pancakes onto a plate, she asked herself how many kids Derrik's age knew the word 'arson'. "Can you get the syrup?" She asked, turning around to find it was already on the table, as well a fork for both of them. "Wow. Your in a hurry." She put the plate down in front of her son. Derrik nodded but looked at his mother in concern. "Aren't you eating?" He asked. "Already did." Riza assured him. He shrugged and dug into his pancakes.

About five minutes later, he was jumping up and handed her and empty plate. "You shouldn't eat that fast. You'll make yourself sick." She scolded. He shrugged and ran towards the door to grab his shoes. "C'mon mom!" He shouted. Riza grinned and put the plate in the sink before walking to the door and sliding on her shoes. One nice thing about not being in the military was that she could show off her more feminine side. Not that she was all that feminine in the first place. She admired her black shoes with their half inch heels. Derrik grabbed the keys off the hook by the door and ran outside. Riza rolled her eyes and walked outside, locking the door behind her once she managed to grab the keys out of Derrik's hands.

As they walked down to the park, Derrik was always ten feet in from of her. It made her a bit nervous but she knew she wasn't that far away from him. Plus, she always had her pistol with her. Once they got to the park, Derrik dashed away to find Gage. She wandered around curiously until she spotted him talking to Gage, standing next to a tall blonde girl.

She sped up and jogged over to them. "Derrik, slow down!" She said, walking to his side. "Sorry, mom." Derrik said, though she could tell her didn't mean it. Riza rolled her eyes and looked up the the woman. "Hello, I'm Riza, Derrik mother. You are…?" She extended her hand. She grabbed the hand and shook it. "I'm Winry. Nice to meet you Riza." "Nice meet you, too." Riza said, resting her hand back at her side.

Derrik and Gage watched them dully until Winry sighed, smiling. "Okay, you two go have fun." They grinned and both dashed towards the playground. "They seem to be good friends already." Riza commented. "They have. Gage has been begging me since last night to set up a play-date." Riza chuckled. "You have no idea how fast Derrik ate breakfast so he could get down here." As the women laughed together, Riza couldn't help but notice the strange recognition she felt from the name Winry. Perhaps she went to school with someone named Winry… She shrugged inwardly. Ah well.

Once their laughter died down, Riza remembered the book in her hand. "Oh, shoot." "Something wrong?" Winry asked. "I forgot, I need to go renew my book at the library today…" After looking around briefly for her son, she looked back at Winry. "Would you mind watching Derrik for a few minutes while I run down to the library?" Riza asked, feeling guilty. Wirny shook her head. "No, I wouldn't mind at all!" She smiled. "I'm sure those too won't be coming back for a while anyways."

Riza nodded her head great fully. "Thank you." She turned and jogged back to her house. Pulling her keys out of her pockets, she got into the car and slammed the door shut. She felt guilty about leaving Derrik alone without telling him so she wanted to get back fast. She pulled our of the driveway and drove down the street, a bit faster then she should have.

Once she got to the library, she ran in, renewed her book, and ran back out. During the drive home, she decided to take a bit of a detour. In her many years in the military, she had easily memorized the way to work. Holding her breath, she neared the building. She slowed down so she could examine the building closer. It wasn't until she saw two men talking in front of the building that she sped up and drove away. Inhaling deeply, she drove back to the park, relieved they hadn't seemed to notice her.

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The tall, black-haired man rolled his eyes. "No excuses, Full Metal. You've been chasing after this stupid stone for years and you still haven't found it. Can't you just live with the reality?" Ed rolled his eyes. "You now Mustang, your even more heartless then I thought. You really want me to watch my brother as a suit of-" "SH!" Mustang raised his hand as a car sped past them. "What? You think some speeder is more important then my brother's body?!" Mustang continued watch the car curiously until it rounded a corner.

Ed blinked. "You know, you need to get over it. She's dead. Stop daydreaming." He shoved his hands in his pockets. Roy rounded on him. "Easy for you to say! You have a wife and son." He sighed and turned away. "Just, worry about your brother…. I'll worry about my own problems." He walked towards his car and got in.

Ed sighed and looked to the sky. Alphonse ran up behind him. "Something wrong?" He asked. "Mustang's day dreaming again. Not to mention the fact that we still haven't found that stone." Al watched Roy drive away. "It's been four years though. Does he really still think she's alive…?" Ed sighed and shook his head. "Who knows. Let's go."

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**Hah, much longer then the last one, eh? And, Ed, Al and Mustang apear in this one. Not to mention Winry. Pretty exciting, eh? Yeah, I know I told you I would wait a while before Roy showed up, but I couldn't help it. So, have you figured out who Gage belongs to yet? xD**

**More to come soon, I hope!**


	2. 3 Death From a Different Point of View

**Disclaimer: I do not claim Full Metal Alchemist or any of it's characters!**

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**Chapter 3: Death from a Different Point of View**

Roy sat in the back of a dark, smoke-filled bar staring into the distance blankly. Full Metal was right, he needed to get over it. He rubbed his chin, grimacing as his once smooth face was covered with stubble. HE knew that if he looked in the mirror, he would have bags under his eyes too. Ever since Riza's death four years ago, he has slowly gone farther and farther downhill. It was about time he got a life.

It doesn't help at all that wherever he went he swore he saw her. Though he knew it wasn't possible. He had seem first hand the burned corpse, and he knew it was her. It was all his fault. He was only gone a minute, but that was all it took. "Dammit." He cursed, baling his hands into fists.

He never found out who killed her, and they are lucky. If he found out, he would hunt them to the ends of the Earth. He didn't care about being fuehrer anymore. He was barely able to keep his job in the military. The pain of thinking about his failure was almost too much to bear everyday. His attempts of suicide had all failed. He almost burned himself to death, just because of the irony but he couldn't bring himself to it. Riza wouldn't have let him. She devoted her life to protecting him, he wouldn't ruin that all. Even if she was dead.

Roy could bearley remember what exactly had happened on the day of Riza's death. They had just returned from a mission together and they were parked in front of Central's main building. He had run to report in so they could go down to the little café on the corner and have lunch. When Roy returned, the car was in flames. There were several officers already trying to retrieve the lieutenant from inside, but it was too late.

Roy didn't even get a chance to see her before she was burned to death. He was too slow, to weak to save the one that would willingly give her life to save him. Worst of all, he was too weak to save the one he loved. Roy had never loved another the way he did Riza, and he knew she felt the same way about him. They had been friends for nearly all their lives, but it wasn't until shortly before her death that she were truly in love.

His heart ached at the thought of his lost love. True, it was against the law for him to be in love with his subordinate, but they didn't care. After all they had been through together, they would risk anything to be together. Even if that meant staying up until all ours of the night just talking.

Roy sighed. He never thought he could loose so much in one foul swoop. Although it wasn't until her funeral that he really broke down. As far as he knew, that was the first time his subordinates saw him cry. Other then Riza of course. He could barely stand it. Listening to all the military stiffs talking about how "she was such a good solider" when he had known as so much more then just a soldier. She was the best damn soldier this army was ever graced with.

After Hughes's death, Roy was in a deep rut. The only person willing to reach in and pull him back out had been Riza. She had always been so faithful to him, so caring. And he never noticed. That was, until the day Roy had been fatally wounded. He stumbled into the room to find Riza huddled on the floor in front of her supposed killer.

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_"Damn…" Roy muttered, putting his hand on the wall to steady him and he held his wound with his other arm. A long string of gunshot told him Riza was still alive. Although he felt confident that she could fend for herself, he still wanted to hurry and find her. He refused to let her die. Ever since the vow he made at a teenager, he had refused to forget it._

_Another string of shots then a loud clanking. "Don't drop it." Roy whispered urgently, trying to speed up. "Don't lose it, Hawkeye." He winced. Talking was painful. When he finally rounding the corner into a large room, he spotted Riza laying in a ball on the floor, a gun to the top of her. "It's a shame really. To lose someone you care about." Her attacker chuckled. "Stop!" Roy's voice echoed through the room and the attacker's head shot up. Riza looked up slowly, her eyes dull and shining with tears. "S-Sir… Sir!" She pushed herself to her feet and tripped the attacker while he was distracted._

_As the man struggled on the ground, Riza managed to knock the gun out of his hands and knock him out. She stared at him coldly until Roy rested his hand on her shoulder. "Hawkeye, what were you do-" He was cut off as Riza stood up and wrapped her arms around him, shaking violently. It took him several moments to realize she was sobbing into his jacket. "H-Hawkeye…" Hesitantly, he reached around and held her close to his chest._

_"Riza, Riza are you okay?" Roy looked down at her in concern. Other then a drizzle of blood running down her arm, he couldn't see anything wrong with her. He hated using her first name, but he had to get her attention somehow. "Riza, did he hurt you." She pulled away form him slowly and stared up at him. "Sir.." She lifted her hand slowly, then suddenly lashed out. Roy stared at her in shock as her hand connected with his face._

_Although he didn't let her go, he frowned. "And what was that for?!" He shouted. "Never… Do that to me again." Riza muttered, leaning in to grab him again. Roy blinked shock. "Lieutenant…?" He sighed, smiling slightly. "Okay." Riza nodded slowly, whipping her tears-stained cheeks._

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Roy pushed his chair out and walked out of the bar slowly. He needed to get away. Somewhere. He had to leave. But.. He couldn't. The military was the only thing he had left of Riza. Roy got into his car and drove home quickly. Slamming the door behind him, he walked into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. "Look what you've done to me, Riza. What do you think of me now? Still charming and handsome?" He listened for a moment, pulling a razor out of the cupboard. "HUH?!" He slammed it down on the sink and listened to the sound echo around his empty house. He chuckled quietly and turned the water on.

Once he was finished, her looked into the mirror confidently. "That's better, eh?" He chuckled and flicked the lighted off. "Night." He murmured into the silence as he walked into his room and shut the door slowly. As he lay in bed, he could almost hear Riza telling him goodnight. Sighing, he closed his eyes and fell into a dark sleep.

Meanwhile on the other side of town, Riza was settling down for the night. Derrik had went to Gage's house after their trip to the park so he was exhausted. As Riza lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, she tried to figure out how she knew Wirny's name. Digging into every corner of her brain, she still couldn't figure it out. She sighed. If it were important, she would have remembered. Although whenever she thought for long enough, the image of a small blonde girl sitting on a couch talking to her.

"Ah well." She closed her eyes. She had better be to sleep soon, Gage's father was coming over early tomorrow to take the boys to the fair.

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**Bwahaha. Does this answer your question of why Roy think's Riza's dead? Riza'll explain it a bit more indepth in a few chapters, don't worry. Also, we get to see more of Ed too! That tricky little devil. What? Oh, you'll see. :3**

**Sorry for the lame flash-back. I'm really not at all pleased with this chapter. I rushed it a bit. Sorry, hopefully the next one will be better. **


	3. 4 Shedding Some Light

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters in this story! **

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**Chapter 4: Shedding Some Light **

Edward ran up the door and knocked quickly. He glanced his shoulder and sighed as he spotted Gage bouncing around in the back seat of the car. He had to practically tie Gage to the seat to get him to calm down. "You just met the boy two days ago for God's sake." He muttered as he waited for Derrik's mother to open the door.

"Yet, Winry lets some possible creep-o kid hang out with our son and take him out on play dates? What is she th-" He cut himself off os a pretty blonde opened the door. "Hello." She smiled. "You must be Gage's father.." She trailed off. "Edward." He said, glancing at her curiously as she stiffened.

_I knew I knew Winry… _Riza stared at Edward in horror. Suddenly it all came back to her. The day she had gone with Roy to find the sons of Hohenhiem in Resembol… The little blonde girl, Winry, had told her how she hated the Military. _Oh no… _Riza blinked, trying to regain her composure even though it was too late. Edward was already staring at her in confusion.

"I didn't get your name. Miss…?" "R-Riza.." She choked. How cruel the world was. Off all the ways for someone to find her, it had to be through her son's play date! Edward chuckled in disbelief and rested his hand on the doorframe. "Riza, eh?" He smiled bitterly. "Let me guess, Riza Hawkeye?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Riza bit her lip and looked at him in dismay. "Yeah… That's me." She whispered.

Edward sighed and suddenly kicked the doorframe. "Dammit!" He shouted. "Excuse me?" Riza looked at him reproachfully. "You have no idea what the last four years has been like!" Edward growled, narrowing his eyes at her angrily. "For you?!" Riza asked bitterly.

"Yes for me!" Edward sighed. "The colonel has been in a hole and has refused to come out. You know how impossible it is to work with someone like that?" Riza rolled her eyes. "It's been terrible for you I'm sure. You know, trying to hind from an entire military for four years hasn't exactly been a cake walk either!" Riza looked over her shoulder as Derrik jumped down the stairs eagerly.

Ed glared at her darkly and she returned it until Derrik got to her side and she leaned down to smile at him. Luckily, it had just started to rain outside. "You know Derrik, it's raining out now. I don't think the fair will be open." Derrik groaned. "Really?" He asked sadly, looking outside to see if she was lying.

While she spoke to her son, Riza was still painfully aware of Edward staring down at her. "So why don't you just go back upstairs? I'll sort out another day with Gage's dad and you can get together with him soon." Riza said, nearly pushing Derrik away from the scene. Although he was reluctant, he turned and walked upstairs sadly.

Riza could barley contain the urge to pull out her gun and threaten him with it somehow, though she knew that would only work on Roy. Roy… She narrowed her eyes. "You're not going to tell Roy." She said through clenched teeth. "And who said that?" Edward asked bitterly. "I did." Riza clenched her fists. "Do you really think it'll help anything if you tell him? Make him think that I simply abandoned him? Do you want to hurt him more?!" She asked. Edward didn't look convinced. "But that's what you did. What, did you get tired of the military? Sick of seeing him everyday? He gets on my nerves too, but I don't frame my own murder then run off for four years and have a kid!" Edward spat accusingly.

"That's not how it happened!" Riza shouted, her eyes blazing with fury. "You really think I got tired of him? That I just up and left? Then got pregnant!?" She got in his face and grabbed the collar of his jacket roughly. "Yeah, that's how I see it." Ed stated plainly. After a moment, his eyes widened. "Derrik is…." He swallowed. "Derrik is Mustang's… Isn't he." It wasn't a question, and Riza knew she didn't need to respond. She let go of his shirt and pushed him away.

"Hawkeye…." Edward watched her turn away and look up the staircase. Riza sighed. "Roy isn't going to find out about this, right?" Edward bit his lip before shrugging. "Not from me." He promised. Riza turned to look at him solemnly. "Thank you." She muttered, walking over to the couch to plop down. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the back cushion as Edward walked over. "Hawkeye, I'm sorry. I didn't kn-" She lifted her hand and waved him away.

"It's alright, Edward. No one was supposed to know. That was the point…" She looked at him briefly. "It Roy that bad off?" She asked hesitantly. Ed shrugged. "He's bad enough. You know, he's been slacking off and obviously not getting enough sleep. Other then that? He's a bit more bitter. Not that he wasn't bitter in the first place though." Ed snorted. Riza shot him a glare.

"Please, don't insult the father of my child when I'm sitting right here in an obviously unstable mental state." Riza said. Edward rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Sorry about that." After a long silent moment, Edward got to his feet. "Well, I guess I'll see you at some point. Riza…" He shuddered. The lieutenant he had once feared was now a simple house-bound mom that he had to refer to as Riza? It was diffidently strange.

Riza glared at him and he jumped. "You haven't changed at all." He muttered as he walked to the door slowly. He thought he heard the click of the safety on her gun and bolted out the door. Riza chuckled as locked the door behind him. As she stared around the empty living room, she sighed.

Could she really trust he wouldn't tell Roy…? She prayed she could.

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**Baboom. That was it. Intense? Eh, not so much. Fail? Yeah. I'm really tired right now and it's 2:30 in the morning. I probably should have been asleep hours ago, but I don't have school all week due to a loss in the family. So… Yeah. **

**This chapter didn't go at all how I was intending it to go so… Blah. Do you guys like it? If not, I'm probably gonna end up going through and re-writing it. **

**Next chapter has some fairly entertain stuff that goes on ;D And no, Ed doesn't tell Roy about Riza. But since every chapter, someone manages to ask a question I was planning on answering in the next chapter, lets see what I get asked this time. **


	4. 5 A Disillusioning Discovery

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters in this story! **

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**Chapter 5: A Disillusioning Discovery **

Riza Hawkeye rolled her neck, smiling as it cracked. She stretched her arms into the air and sighed contentedly. She felt rather relaxed, considering the fact that someone had just found out her deepest secret. She sat back in her chair and looked out the window. Like the day before, it was still gloomy, the sky a foreboding gray, but she didn't think anything of it. She knew that if she were to walk into the office like any other day, Roy would be sitting behind his desk grumbling about the weather.

She smiled at the thought, which scared her. Sighing, she grabbed her book off the side-table and flipped through it. Derrik had gone to the neighbors house, giving her some time to sit back and relax a bit. She found her page a frowned, realizing someone had torn the page after it out. She sighed as she flipped back and forth, watching the numbers. _32, 33, 36, 37..._ Riza hated vandals.

She tossed the book lightly onto the table and looked around. Due to the weather, she knew there would be nothing worth going out for. She didn't feel like shopping and she obviously wasn't going to the park. The house was almost spotless, the way she liked it. So, other then reading, there wasn't much else to do.

She closed her eyes, trying to think of what to do until she heard a light knock on the door. Curious, she got to her feet and walked over and opened it.

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"Damn you, Full Metal." Roy muttered under his breath as he knocked on the door. "Why do I have to pick up your damn son from his damn play-date?" He asked, waiting for someone to answer. Growing impatient quickly, he lifted his fist to knock again, only to see it swing open as he hit it.

He looked as a pretty young woman with beautiful blonde hair and deep amber eyes opened the door. At first, he simply stared at her longingly, missing the one he loved as he eyed widened and she gripped the door knob. She gasped and stared at him, ever muscle in her body tense as she waited for him to respond.

Roy blinked, suddenly coming to his senses. "Excuse me… I'm uh…" He shook his head in disbelief. "Um, you're R-Riza…" He shook his head again, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. "R-Riza Hawkeye." He murmured quietly.

She nodded stiffly, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "Yeah. I am. And you're Roy Mustang." Suddenly, as she spoke she felt his arms suddenly wrap around her, holding her body close to his chest. "Roy..?" Riza tried to pull away softly, only to realize he was shaking.

"Roy.. Roy, are you alright?" She asked, lifting her hand to touch his cheek. At her touch, Roy jumped back and shook his head. "No, I'm not alright. I swear to God, you were dead. But now you're not. Either that, or the devil is a cruel son of a bitch to give me dreams like this." He said, his jaw clenched. "You were dead. I saw you. Why are you still here?" He asked,coming towards her again.

She lifted her hand and put a finger on his lips to silence him. As he watched her in disbelief, she felt her eyes welling up. "Roy, I'm sorry. I wasn't dead… I'm not dead." She murmured, looked at him with dull eyes. Roy shook his head. "If you weren't then…" He pulled back stiffly and stared at her in disgust. "Then you left me. Just up and left me. No good bye. Nothing. Is that how it is?" He asked, his eyes glimmering with pain.

Hawkeye shook her head and looked up at him, ashamed. " No, I didn't leave you. Roy, I loved you." "Loved!" Roy snorted. "Loved. Loved, loved, loved. Well guess what, I _still _love you." Roy said, glancing down at his feet. "I still do, too, Roy." Riza murmured.

She felt sick. Sick and tired of having to explain herself. Sick and tired of deceiving the ones she cared about. Sick and tired of hiding. But mostly, she was sick and tired of being accused. "Roy…" She whispered, feeling the first tear slid gently down her cheek. "Roy, I'm sorry."

Roy grabbed her arm roughly and used his other hand to lift her chin. She closed her eyes and struggled weakly. "Riza, look at me. Look at me and explain to me how you can possibly love me through all this." When she didn't move, he shook her slightly. "_Tell me, _God dammit!" He shouted.

She flinched, several more tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt his grip loosen and she opened her eyes hesitantly. She saw Roy walked back and forth between the door and her, shaking his head slowly. "Riza, why did you do this?" He asked quietly. "Why did you kill yourself. Why did you l-l… Why did you lie to me?" Riza could tell Roy was getting choked up by the way he was stumbling over his words. She could feel the emotional turmoil radiating off him and she would sense the betrayal he felt, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She merely watched as he tormented himself, trying to find the answer only she knew.

Though she waited for when his anger would fade, in the back of her mind she wished he would stay mad at her forever, to hate her like she deserved. But, she knew he wouldn't. After several long moments, Roy looked up at her with teary eyes. "Riza, what happened."

Finally, Riza bit her lip and answered. "Roy, I had to." "Had to what?!" He exploded, walking towards her. "I had to _leave_." She muttered. "Why?" He demanded, grabbing her shoulders and looking down at her. She smiled up at him weakly. "Something happened. I had to leave. I had to protect us." She whispered, her eyes shining. Roy stared at her in confusion. "What happened, Riza?" Roy asked, shaking her.

Hawkeye suddenly felt tired, exhausted, and felt herself going limp in his arms. He moved to steady her and gently led her to the couch. "Riza, what's wrong?" He asked. She shook her head. "Nothing is. Not anymore." She murmured, laying down on the couch slowly. Roy's eyes widened slowly and he looked down at her affectionately. Hesitantly, he grabbed her hand gently and sat down on the edge of the couch next to her. "Riza…" He murmured, using his free hand to brush her bangs out of her face carefully.

"I'm sorry, sir." She whispered, closing her eyes. Roy bowed his head and smiled slowly, feeling whole for the first time in four years.

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**Egh. Made of fail, I know. I'm pretty much ashamed of this chapter, due to the fact that I had no idea how I wanted Roy to react to finding her. And yeah, Ed sooo set him up. XD Told you he was a trick little Ed-o. Anyway, this is it. It pretty much sucks but yeah. They are finally re-united. Since this story is pretty short chapter wise, I'll have some chapters that are recap. Sound exciting, right? Ha, not really. ;D**

**By the way, AJAX-Avatar, the answer to THAT question lies in a very different Fanfic. Sorry xD**


	5. 6 Water Under the Bridge

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters in this story! **

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**Chapter 5: Water Under the Bridge**

Riza opened her eyes slowly, realizing she had drifted to sleep as Roy held her hand. She groaned quietly and sat up. She jumped back as he leg hit something. Looking down, she spotted Roy sitting up with is back against the couch as he dozed. She smiled and touched his head, ruffling his dark hair softly. "Roy, wake up." She murmured, bending down to whisper in his ear.

Roy grinned but didn't open his eyes. " Roy, wake up." She stood up and stretched her back. Finally, Roy opened his eyes and looked around with a confused expression. Although it took him a moment, he remembered where he was a stood up quickly. "Oh, uh…' He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and Riza grinned. "Roy, not need for formalities." She said, walking to his side and wrapping her arms around his waist. "I believe there is a need." He said, frowning down at her thoughtfully. "Why?" She asked.

Roy hesitantly lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. "First of all.. This is the first time I've seen you in four years. Second.. The is the first time I've been told you're al-" He swallowed. "Alive." He said. She looked down at the floor and sighed. "Roy, I'm sorry. But I am alive."

"Why would you be sorry you're alive?" He asked with wide eyes. Riza felt the urge to reach up and slap him. "Not that I'm alive, that I had to make you think I wasn't. I suppose that wasn't my best idea ever…" She trailed of thoughtfully. Roy shrugged. "Obviously it wasn't your best idea. Look at you know. You've been in hiding for four years! This place… Although it's well kept up, you look thin and pale. Have you been eating enough?" He asked. Riza opened her mouth to respond but he quickly continued. "How is your salary? What job are you doing? You need a real salary. Doing something you love." He paused. "With someone you love." He added affectionately, smiling.

Riza nodded slowly and looked up at him. "I can't. Not anymore." She said as Roy shook his head. "No, you can! We can say you lost your memories. They'd believe that. No one ever doubted you on anything, Riza. No one!" Roy's words began to slur together as he spoke, the concept of working, side by side with his Lieutenant was getting him worked up. Suddenly, he stopped and held her close to his chest. "You know… Life hasn't been the same without someone to watch me back." He murmured.

"Surely you got another Lieutenant." Riza said. Roy shook his head. "Oh yeah sure. Of course I did. I had too! Doesn't mean I had him be my personal guard. I mean, he was… But we aren't nearly as close as you and I are. He's not nearly as beautiful either." Roy smirked. Riza chuckled and buried her face in his jacket, feeling the depressingly familiar fabric of his Military Uniform.

Riza sighed. "Well, I'm sorry I left you vulnerable like that…" Roy shook his head. "Don't be. It doesn't matter anymore, you're alive. And I found you. And…" He smiled and toyed with her ponytail. "You know, I like your hair this way." He murmured. She raised a brow and he smiled sheepishly. "Anyway! All that matters is that we are together again. Right…?"

Riza nodded after a long moment. "Yes. But… Are you sure you're okay with all this? I mean, I did 'die' and abandon you for four years.." Roy grinned. "Of course I'm alright with it Leiuta- Riza." He blushed. "As long as you're sure, sir." She murmered.

Roy grinned and Riza rested her head against his chest contently as he played with her hair more. "Really though.. I like it longer. You should have worn it like this before." He said happily. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

After several minutes, there was a knock on the door. "Who…?" Riza blinked, trying to remember who would be over today. She pulled away form Roy suddenly and gasped. "Roy, you need to leave." She whispered urgently. "What? Why?!" He asked with wide eyes. "I can't explain now.. Just, please go." She said, pushing him towards the back door roughly.

"Who is it?" He narrowed his eyes. "Another man? Is someone screwing around with you Hawkeye? What is he doing to you?" He asked, his eyes blazing. Hawkeye looked disgusted. "Roy!" She growled, pushing him to the door. "No one has done anything but I will do something to you if you don't get out!" She said as another knock sounded on the door. After watching her suspiciously for a moment, he sighed and opened the door. "Fine. Meet me at the train station tomorrow night." He turned to walk out the door. A second later, he popped his head back in. "Love you." He smiled and walked back out.

Riza smiled and as she walked over to the front door, she whispered _Love you, too. _She pulled the door open and smiled as the neighbor and Derrik stood outside. "Derrik! Did you have fun?" She asked, bending down to hug him tightly. "Yeah! We made cookies! I burned my finger, too." He announced proudly, holing up his pointer finger. Riza raised a brow and looked up at the lady, who merely shrugged. She rolled her eyes playfully and stood up. "Well, thank you so much for taking him today."

"Oh, it was my pleasure. It always is." She smiled down at Derrik. "See you soon." She said, waving to them before walking away. As she led Derrik into the bathroom to put an bandage on hi burn, she silently thanked God he wasn't home when Roy came over. Suddenly, her heart sank. How was she going to explain Derrik to Roy? He already suspected her of going around with some other jerk. How would she explain to Roy Mustang, every ladies dream come true, he had a _son? _She sighed and sent Derrik downstairs to get cleaned up and ready for dinner.

After dinner, Riza sent Derrik to go get a shower and get ready for bed so she could think. Once she was sure he was in bed, Riza got changed and crawled into bed, although she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. Thoughts of Roy continued to flash through her mind since he left, she felt as if she was never without him. She could feel the gash that had been carved into her heart was beginning to get sewn back together, and she left like she was in heaven.

As she lay in bed, small clips of memories she had kept locked up for four years were finally aloud to roam free in her mind.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~**

_As usual, Riza was stuck sitting in the Colonel's office as she attempted to get him to finish his paperwork. Even though he had seemed particularly distracted that day, she was only focused on getting out of the office. She was sure Black Hayete needed to get outside by now. _

_As Riza dumped another pile of papers on Roy's desk, he grabbed her sleeve when she turned to walk away. She turned to look at him, surprised. "Sir?" She raised a brow, confused by the ashamed look on his face. _

"_Lieutenant…." He trailed off and sighed. "What is love?" He asked quietly. Riza's eyes widened. "Uh… Sir…" She felt her cheeks turn a bright shade of pink. "Love is… When you feel a certain way around someone. If you're around someone and every time, you feel your heart beat faster or… You can't stop thinking about them. You want them in your life forever." She answered, slowly. _

_Roy nodded and exhaled deeply. "Alright." He said simply and returned to his paperwork. Riza watched him curiously. Little did she know, soon the reasons behind his question would be revealed._

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~**

Riza grinned as the memory faded and she drifted into the comforting realm of sleep.

* * *

***hums* **_**What is love? Baby don't hurt me - Don't hurt me, no more~!**_

**Don't even try to tell me that didn't pop into your head when you saw that. xD**

**Hah! And you thought the annoying flashback were over! You poor, naïve, fools. Anyhow, hopefully the last flash-back for a while. It's better then the last one, right? Or am I just so exhausted that I think it's better? Either way, there it is**

**As I sit here and 3AM with my headphones in and a Gatorade bottle filled with fruit juice next to me, I feel pretty dumb. But, I got another chapter done so be happy.**

**I can't wait to write the next chapter x3 It's epically exciting. Well, maybe not that much but we get to briefly hear from the characters we haven't yet. Yay. Also, someone dies. NOT REALLY! You people are so gullible.**

**Ug, I'm sorry. I'm too tired to think straight, and I don't even feel like my fingers are actually typing. So, I'm going to sleep now. Live with it. I'll write the next chapter at some point. **


	6. 7 Just my Luck

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters in this story! **

* * *

**Chapter 7: Just my Luck **

Roy sighed and glanced at the clock on the wall. He had been counting down the hours all day, and it was finally time. Time to go meet up with Riza. He jumped up and ran over to the door. His jaw dropped and he grumbled loudly. "Of course if raining!" He shouted, half-tempted to throw something. He grabbed his long, trench coat and tucked his gloves into his pocket. Even if it was raining, he had to be sure to have some sort of protection. He wasn't sure if Riza still carried his gun with her, though he doubted she didn't.

He slid into his coat and walked out the door. He started the car and drove down to a small, abandoned shack in the outskirts of the city. The people around were shady, which made it the perfect place to meet without being spotted. No one would expect they would go there. Once he got there, he sat in his car and looked around impatiently. He looked at his watch. "She should be here any minute." He muttered.

Suddenly, he gasped. "What if she doesn't know where to come?" He asked in despair. He hadn't thought of the fact that "the train station" was military talk for the meeting place. After Riza 'died' they discontinued using the shack for meetings and organized them elsewhere. Roy slapped his forehead, feeling like an idiot. "She probably thought I meant the real train station!"

Roy started the car up, ready to drive down to the train station when another car pulled up and sat idle for a moment before shutting down. Roy watched eagerly as a small figure in a long rain coat got out and walked over to the door. He grinned and jumped out and walked after her eagerly.

Once she was inside, Riza sighed as she pulled her hood down and turned to greet Roy. "Hello." She smiled, shaking some water off her sleeve. Roy grinned and walked over to her side, a stupidly affectionate look on his face. "I was worried you wouldn't remember what I meant." He commented, frowning as he noticed her hair was back in a bun. Riza rolled her eyes and put her hood back up. "How could I forget?" She asked, looking around. "This place.. Looks like it's had some rough times since I was last here." She muttered, running her hand over an ashy bookshelf.

Roy nodded and blushed slightly, smiling sheepishly. He didn't feel like telling her that this was the place he tried to burn himself to death. "What?" She asked and he jumped, afraid she had read his thoughts. She looked at him curiously but shrugged it off and sighed deeply.

Roy frowned and put his hand on her shoulder. "You do realize, I'm doing to make you make up for all the years we missed out on." He murmured in her ear. Riza grinned and nodded slowly. "I wouldn't doubt it." She breathed. He grinned mischievously and pulled her hood down to stroke her cheek. "Although, I still don't understand why we missed all those years." He murmured as he traced her cheek bone slowly down to her chin. Riza looked at him and rolled her eyes before she leaned against him.

Roy smiled and leaned down to kiss the top for her head. Riza smiled and looked up at him affectionately before she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. In response, Roy grabbed her waist to lift her so they were face to face. Roy brought her face closer and pressed his lips against hers. At the touch, Riza felt her soul connect to Roy's. Their passionate exchange lasted for several minutes, the only thing pulling them apart was the slamming of a car door. Though he still held her close, Roy ducked down and glanced at the door. "What was that?" He muttered and Riza shook her head. She moved away from his hesitantly and crawled over to the window.

Outside, she saw two men in the colonel's car. "Roy, they're in your car." She whispered urgently. Suddenly, there was a loud bang on the door and she ran over to the Colonel, pulling him up and dragging him towards the back. "Riza, calm down. They're probably just a bunch of drunken bastards." He muttered, glancing over is shoulder. She shook her head and pulled her gun out of it's concealed holster. She jumped as there was another bang on the door. "No, Roy. They have guns. I don't know what they want but…" She was cut off as a shot rang through the air. She pushed Roy towards the door and they ran out into a dark alley.

Roy listened as they stomped through the building and led Riza down the alley. "Hey!" He heard a voice from behind them and whipped around. He stood in front of Riza and pulled on his gloves as Riza stared in horror as the man pulled out his gun. Although he gun was held firmly in her grip, she felt herself incapable of shooting the man. For the first time since the beginning of the war, she felt herself doubt the right she had to shoot the man. She froze up as Roy fumbled in the rain to get his gloves to spark and the man aimed his gun at the Colonel.

A shot echoed through the alley and Riza kicked out, trying to knock Roy out of the way in time. He sank to the ground, groaning and gripping his shoulder. "Roy!" She screeched, kneeling over him. "Roy, talk to me! Are you okay?" She tried to pry his hand off his wound and gasped as blood stained his jacket. Her jaw clenched and she looked up as the man that shot him stood, looking pleased with himself. She tightened her grip on her gun and staggered to her feet. "Damn you!" She screamed, clicking off the safety and shooting blindly at the man. He cursed and ran back into the building. She stared after him before sinking to the ground and lifting Roy's head onto her lap. "Roy, you'll be fine. Hold on, I'll call for help." She murmured, standing up to go to the Phone booth at the end of the alley.

When she rose, Roy grabbed her hand and smiled weakly up at her. "I'll be fine." He breathed. She bit her lip and turned to walk towards the booth. Inside, she dialed the office's number and waited impatiently for someone to answer. Finally, a familiar voice answered. "Havoc." It muttered, sounding dull. She wanted to tell him who it was but she knew it would only lead to more problems, and she needed to tend to Roy. "I need help." She said urgently, trying her best to sound like a citizen. "Uhm.. Colonel…. Roy Mustang has been shot and he needs a medic soon."

She heard Havoc gasp into the receiver and yell something. She smiled at Fuery responded. "Where?" Havoc demanded. Riza glanced over her shoulder at the street names. "The corner of Rosa and Lovegood." She answered. "We'll be there as soon as possible. Please stay there so we can question you." He said and hung up. Riza frowned. "I can't stay. I'm sorry." She murmured as she walked over to Roy, where he lay on the ground, grimacing. "Riza.. Please, stay." He whispered. She shook her head and bent down to kiss his forehead. "I can't. They'll find me." She murmured and wrapped her arms around him. Roy frowned and leaned into her embrace painfully.

"Okay. But promise me we will see each other again." He said. She stood up and walked away slowly. "Riza!" He called out and she turned to face him. "Promise me." He said, watching her intently as she nodded and pulled her hood up before walking away. Roy sighed and rested his head on the cold concrete as he waited for his men.

After about five minutes of agony, a car pulled up and Fuery and Havoc jumped out and ran over to him. "Sir, are you alright?" Havoc asked, motioning over the medics. "Do I look like I'm alright?!" He snapped as one the medics pulled his jacket off. Feury looked around and frowned. "Where is that girl?" He asked suspiciously. Roy froze, trying to think up an excuse. "I dunno. She ran off after she got off the phone. Must have left the stove on at home or something." He muttered. Havoc frowned. "Why didn't you stop her?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "Do I look like I'm in the state to stop her? Laying here on the ground bleeding half to death as I wait for you asses to come pick me up." Roy growled.

Havoc frowned and exchanged glances with Feury, their faces both reflecting the question: _Why's he in such a bad mood? _Havoc shrugged and waited for the medics to finish bandaging his wounds. At least, the best they could do in the rain. "He needs to go the Hospital." One of them muttered. Roy's eyes widened. He knew there was no way Riza would be able to get into the hospital without being seen and he knew he would be able to get out. "What are you talking about? I don't need a hospital." He said, standing up. He gasped and sank back down, clutching his shoulder. "Sir, you need hospital." Fuery said, frowning. "No trying anything funny." Havoc added.

Roy glared at them and closed his eyes in despair. "Fine. But as soon as I can, I'm getting out." He grumbled as the medics grabbed him and carefully led him to the car. Havoc rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He muttered, getting into the drivers seat and starting the car. "Hey Feury, you want to go get the Colonel's car? It's out front I think." He said. Feury nodded and walked around to it as Havoc drove back to Central.

As Feury walked back to the car, he noticed another car near his. He frowned and watched it carefully as a figure inside pulled her hood down and started the car. His eyes went wide as he watched the pretty woman drive off in the opposite direction. "That couldn't have been…" He muttered, shaking his head and getting into Roy's car. "There's no way." He whispered and drove off, the image of a young, attractive Lieutenant floated through his mind. "If it weren't for the fact that she's dead, it would almost make sense that he would be meeting her.. In the old… Meeting place…" He trailed off. Although his curiosity begged him to investigate more, he knew the Colonel wouldn't appreciate him snooping around, especially not about something involving Hawkeye.

* * *

**Oh~! You're slipping Riza. Tsk tsk. First you get Roy shot, then she blew her cover. Smooth move. Well, I blame Feury. He just had to be good at spotting her. Oh, did I just hint on that he would know her face from a mile away? Oh, I think I just did. ;D Poor Riza, never even noticed, did you? Ah well. **

**So, I was determined to make this chapter longer then my longest chapter and I did! That was including the comments on the other one and not including the comments on this one. Haha, I win. So, it's not three in the morning tonight, but it is midnight xD**

**Do you like how I weaseled my way out of that romance scene? Oh yeah, I win. I'm so bad at that kind of stuff x.x Ah well, hopefully there will be more opportunities to do that xD And… I couldn't come up with a chapter title. Now, I shall end my random rambling and go to sleep. Night~! Expect another chapter soon! ;D Love you all~**


	7. 8 Impatiant

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters in this story!**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Impatient**

Roy sighed and clenched his fist as he looked around the dull hospital room. The curtains were pulled tightly closed and his Lieutenant stood outside his door faithfully. Roy frowned and closed his eyes. "Lieutenant!" He shouted. He spun around and opened the door. He glanced around and closed it behind him before waking to the bedside. "Yes, sir?" He asked. "How long do I have to rot in here?" He asked. The Lieutenant shook his head. "I don't know, sir." He said, turning to face the door cautiously. "You don't have to be on such high alert." Roy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"You can go." He muttered, waving him off. The Lieutenant nodded and walked out. Roy lifted his hand and examined it for a moment before slamming it down on his bed in frustration. At least when Riza was his Lieutenant, he could get something done while he was recuperating. Plus, she didn't sit outside and leave him in a boring room for days -or weeks- on end. Roy considered calling Havoc and making him come down and help him out but he decided not to. They didn't get along well. Probably because Havoc should have been promoted to Lieutenant when Riza died. Somehow though, someone found out about his relationship with Riza and decided it would be better for them to bring in someone new, who he wouldn't get involved with.

He chuckled darkly. "As if I'd fall in love with Havoc." He snorted. Outside, the light thudding on the roof told him rain was starting to come down. He sighed dejectedly and closed his eyes. After about an hour, Roy found himself feeling restless and called him Lieutenant back in. He frowned. "What is it, sir?" He asked. "I need some paper." He ordered. "And a pen." He nodded and walked out, returning in a few minutes. "Here." He muttered and tossed them onto the bedside table.

Roy smiled. "That is all." The Lieutenant nodded and exited. Roy grabbed the paper and scribbled something down. He paused and continued.

_Dear Elizabeth, _

_How are you? I'm fine, besides a minor wound that got me stuck in some shitty hospital. Anyways, I'm bored out of my mind and figured I'd write something. I haven't spoken to you in a while, it's a shame. I hope you still keep your hair as pretty as it was. And your eyes, ah those eyes._

Roy paused and sighed. The last time he heard the name 'Elizabeth' it had been a code name for Riza. He knew no one knew the code, so he felt safe writing her a letter. He scribbled on, commenting on dull things until finally something occurred to him.

_PS, would you mind stopping by my house and feeding my dog? I think you still have the key._

He wrote at the end. Nodding, he sealed it in an envelope and wrote 'To Elizabeth' on the outside. He handed it to his Lieutenant. "Send this to Elizabeth." He muttered. The Lieutenant narrowed his eyes but nodded and carried it out. Outside, Havoc was walking down the hall towards the Colonel's room. He saluted coolly to the Lieutenant and walked in. "Sir, I-" Roy cut him off. "Go get the letter from the Lieutenant and deliver it to Elizabeth please." He ordered.

Havoc blinked, unaware the Colonel suddenly had a new girlfriend. "Y-Yes sir." He saluted and walked out. Roy smiled and lifted his hand once more, examining it carefully. "A few more days, Riza…" He sighed. "Wait for me out there…"

~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~

The next day, Riza yawned and rolled out of bed. Out side, the sky was a dim gray from the rain and her window was covered in raindrops. She smiled and stood up, walking over to the window and looked around. Though her mind was still occupied by the incident with the Colonel several days ago, she was pleased they were able to meet again. And that Roy had kept his curiosities about why she left to himself. She chuckled and walked down the stairs slowly. Derrik was sleeping soundly in his room, completely unaware of the secret life she was leading. She felt sick, hiding so many thigns from her son, and hoped someday she could reveal the truth about his father, but she knew it couldn't be any time soon. Running her hand over the back of the couch, she frowned and thought of the ashy meeting place. All the ashes… She shivered. Surely Roy hadn't been so desperate to… She shook her head and walked over to the door.

Swinging it open to let in some light, she noticed a note sticking out form under her door. "A note..?" She blinked and bent down. The name sprawled on the front made her sigh. "Roy, Roy, Roy…" She picked it up and skimmed the writing. She knew most of it was just him covering up, though the compliments that lined the writing made her smiled. It wasn't until she reached the end of the letter that she took it seriously. "Dog..?" She raised a brow, until a huge smile spread across her face. "Black Hayete…" She jumped up and looked over her shoulder at a small, black clock that hung on the wall. It was 6:30, assuming Derrik was going to wake up at… 8, or so, she had about an hour to spend with her old companion.

Grinning, she ran outside and jumped into the car. Starting it up eagerly, she drove down the familiar path the Colonel's house. When she got there, she frowned at the dismal appearance it held. She windows were dirty and dark, with the curtains pulled closed. The yarn was dry and brown, with weeds doting it with bright green. She shook her head and walked up to the old, worn door. She felt around the top edge of the door until she found an old, dusty key. "You never change." She muttered, unlocking the door and walking in. Inside, the house was in disarray. The carpet was old and filthy, books were stacked up through the halls, everything on shelves and walls were coated with dust. She sighed.

Remembering what she had come for, she flipped on a light and looked around. "Hayete!" She called. No response. "Hayete?" She called again, walking through the house. Out of nowhere, she felt something push on her back and pin her down. She struggled to turn over and gasped as a wet tongue began smothering her. "Hayete!" She chuckled, trying to push him back. "Hayete, please!" She finally succeeded in sitting up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard Hayete whimper and she kissed his forehead affectionately. "Oh Hayete, I've missed you." She murmured and he licked his cheek. As she sat there, ruffling his fur and rubbing his back, she recalled happy times with her devoted pet and how affectionate he had been. She even remembered several times when he had been there to get her out of trouble.

She smiled and got to her feet. "Where's your food?" She asked, wandering into the kitchen. She did her best to ignore the pots and pans and dishes that littered the room and opened up a small closet. "Bingo." She grinned and grabbed a large bag of dog food. She poured some into a bowl and watched happily as he munched on it.

As he ate, Riza slowly became aware of a quite clicking at the door. She jumped up and dashed to flip off the light but it was too late. Whoever was coming in was already through the door and looking around in confusion. She heard footsteps nearing her position and looked around frantically for somewhere to hide. She heard Hayete growled and she whirled around to see what was bugging him. The footsteps grew nearer and nearer until finally she dove to sit behind the dog. She grabbed him by the collar and closed her eyes, praying they wouldn't notice her. Until finally the footsteps halted and a voice sounded above her.

"H-Hawkeye…?!"

* * *

**End. Gee, I wonder who it is? Ha, I don't. I KNOW who it is. Anyways, sorry this to so long. I've been a bit short on inspiration. But, it's done now. Luckily the next chapters are a bit more eventful. Yes, I know this is a really short comment and I apologize. **

**By the way, Riza is seriously losing her touch. She got discovered again.**


	8. Important Message!

Yo, alll you people that read Impossible to Forget! I need to ask you something.

Now, you may have noticed that I haven't really updated the story in a while. There are two reasons for that. Number one, I haven't been able to get the ambition to write another chapter. (How lame am I?) Number two, I really hate how the story has been going so far. So, I have made a decision.

I'm going to go back through and re-write Impossible to Forget. I'll have the same story line and characters, obviously. I'm going to re-write it in my newer, better writing style, and I'm going to shange some small details.

Now for the actual question... **Will you actually read it if I go thorugh and re-write it?**

**EDIT: Hm, I'm going t start putting the first chapter at the end, so that when I make a new chapter, I cna delete the old ones. It'll be a little confusing, but once I get the rest of the chapters re-writen, it'll be all in order.**


	9. 1 Reminiscing

**Chapter 1: Reminiscing**

She let a light sigh out and closed the book on her lap. Around her, children were running around joyously. The sun was gleaming in the sky overhead. The birds were singing without a care. The trees were supplying comfortable shade. It seemed as if all was right in the world.

Sure, she was a single mother who was constantly in hiding, but that was a small detail on this beautiful summer morning. She scanned the park for the familiar back haired boy and felt a smile spread across her face when she spotted him talking to a small blonde boy.

She got to her feet, stretched, and proceeded to make her way over to where they sat near the creek. When she reached them, she watched them both look up and smile. "Hi, Momma!"

She smiled and got down beside him. "Hello, Derrik." She ruffled his hair and looked over at the stranger. "Who might this be?"

"I'm Gage!" He jumped to his feet and waved his hands in the air. He shook his head when his long, blond bangs flew into his eyes. Derrik giggled and tackled him. The rolled over and over on the ground before they finally splashed into the shallow water.

She leapt to her feet and ran over to where they lay, laughing hysterically in the water. She extended a hand and helped her son out of the muck. He was closely followed by the other boy. A loud screech behind her made her cringe.

"Gage!" A frenzied woman brushed past her and scooped him up. The boy struggled in his mother's arms before giving up and sighing. The woman looked at her sharply. "Are you trying to let your son kill my son!?"

She simply shook her head. "No, Ma'am. They were just playing." She brushed some dirt of her skirt and stood. She was half an inch taller then the younger woman.

"Just playing? I saw how your son attacked Gage!" She let her son slip to the ground and grabbed his hand before he could run off. Derrik was still laying on the ground, dripping and giggling to himself. Gage looked at his new-found friend and sighed.

She shrugged. "No one got hurt, that's al the matters. Right?" The woman looked down at her son and groaned. "I'm going to have to get all that mud off your clothes now, Gage."

Gage grinned. Derrik looked at his own ruined clothes and she sighed. "Oh, right. Ah well."

"Well, Gage, let's go home. We need to get you washed off." She turned quickly and drug her son away by the hand. Derrik frowned and watched his friend struggled to get away from his mother. She watched him sympathetically. "C'mon, Derrik. Let's head home. It's almost dinner time anyways."

Derrik nodded sullenly and got to his feet. She waited from him to grab her hand, like always, and they followed the creek until it lead to a bridge. The climbed up a small hill until they reached the road, then followed the familiar path home.

Inside, she watched as he kicked off his muddy shoes and left them outside the door. She stifled a smile of pride. He tiptoe inside and ran straight into the bathroom. She waited for him to toss his soiled clothes before she shut the door and let him bath in peace.

While she waited, she dumped his clothes with the rest of their dirty clothing and walked into the kitchen. She opened several cupboards and noted how empty they looked. She grimaced and began making a list of all the things they needed. She hated shopping, she always had. "Let's see…" Luckily, the list was fairly short. As long as he didn't notice, she wouldn't have to add any of the sugary, fat-inducing junk food.

Milk, bread, carrots, apples, cheese… Maybe she could get some frosting and they would make a cake.

The sound of the water turning off upstairs alerted her to hide the list. He stomped down the stairs a few minutes later and he plopped down at the table. "What's for dinner?" He asked, toying with the edge of the table cloth.

She glanced back at the cupboards and rummaged around. Her hands fell on a box of noodles. "Stir fry?"

He shrugged. She nodded.

Half an hour later, they sat down at the table with two plates. Derrik immediately dug in. She ate slowly, being sure to put a napkin on her lap and keep her elbows off the table. Perhaps that was her son's one flaw. He couldn't eat like civilized human to save his life.

Of course, he was done eating before she managed to finish half her plate. While he sat, he peered around the dimly lit kitchen. After several minutes of silence, he grinned. "Hey, Mom! Guess what!"

She swallowed and blinked. "What?"

"Gage knows Alchemy!" He declared excitedly.

She felt a lump forming in her throat. "Oh, really?" She fought to keep her composure. "That's nice."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! He said his Dad is a State Alchemist! Mom, what's a State Alchemist?" He looked suddenly perplexed.

Her hand clenched into a fist under the table. "Well, I don't know much about the military, but I think they are Alchemists that work like regular soldiers. They are very powerful and have little silver pocket watches that are supposed to make their Alchemy more powerful." She clamped her mouth shut. She hated lying to her son. She never wanted to, but how could she tell her son that his father was a State Alchemist?

She finished eating and led her son upstairs. He brushed his teeth and crawled into bed. She smiled at sat on the edge of his bed. "Good night, Derrik." She leaned down to kiss the top of his head. He hugged her and slipped under the covers. "Night."

She stood, walked over to the door, flicked his light off, and walked out into the hallway. She closed his door until it was open only a crack and walked into her room. Glancing out the window, she froze. The sun was setting over the tree line, turning the sky bright shades of red and orange. The gray clouds looked like smoke. She chocked and threw herself down on her bed. She saw flames on the inside of her eyelids. She put the pillow over her head and let out a low moan.

Why? Why did his memory torment her so much? He was gone, she was safe and alone. She had a wonderful son. She was happy, considering everything. She was perfectly content to say that her son's father had died in a car accident shortly after Derrik was conceived. She was happy to live alone with Derrik until he moved out.

But if she was truly happy, they why was it that every time she thought of him, she couldn't breath? She pulled a quilt over her body and curled up into a ball. Silently, she wished that he was back, laying next to her. She wished she could feel him wrap his arms around her and tell her it would all be okay. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a shuddering breath.

She felt a light hand brush against her cheek. At first, she thought her wish had come true. It was until she heard a childish voice murmur "Mom?" that she realized it was her beloved son. She opened her eyes and extended her arms. He climbed into her bed and curled up next to her as she held him close. He was all she had left of Roy Mustang, and though she wanted to forget about her past love, she couldn't. She had a constant reminder, and that constant reminder was currently wrapped in her arms.

She closed her eyes and kissed her son's forehead. She had no idea what she would do without her son, even if he was the cause of all her heartbreak.

"I love you, Mom." He whispered, sounding half-asleep.

"I love you too, Derrik. So… Much…" She sounded half-dead.

* * *

**AN: My first re-write. What'ya think? Better? Worse? Can't tell the difference?**


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